We thought it would be interesting to get a glimpse into the perspective that our dog, Chance, has on life with a new baby. To that end, here is a day in Chance's life ...
4:30AM
The little hairless dog woke up again. He whines and daddy puts this weird thing in its mouth. I believe it is some sort of muting device to keep the little one quiet. I am grateful for it, but it malfunctions sometimes and the little one will continue to whine or scream. Daddy goes to the kitchen and I must follow him. Maybe he'll give me bacon.
4:45AM
There was no bacon, instead daddy prepared the backup muting device in case the small one fails.
5:00AM
The small muting device is failing again. Daddy takes the distressed hairless dog out of the topless cage and applies the bigger muting device. Peace has once more been restored. I shall go back to bed until mommy awakes.
6:45AM
Daddy wakes mommy from her slumber. The smell of that wonderful drink mommy doesn't let me have wafts through the air. She says I can't have it because it will make me hyperactive.
7:00AM
Mommy gets a cup of her drink and sits in her spot on the bed I have claimed in the living room. I'm such a good boy for sharing my bed with my mommy and daddy, if only they wouldn't kick me off of it when they decide to eat in the living room. Mommy is attaching a machine to her built-in pillows. This used to concern me but mommy doesn't seem to mind it even though it makes a funny noise.
8:00AM
Daddy applies the big muting device again as the small one.... wait! Mommy is putting on shoes, could this mean what I think it means? I get to go outside! Mommy is taking me outside! Yay!
8:30AM
The hairless dog smells delicious! I want to eat what he made but mommy and daddy keep taking the bag full of all the delicious stuff out to the big bin in the driveway when they leave. They must be hording the deliciousness for themselves. I wish they were as good at sharing as I am.
9:00AM
The hairless dog is put into a bucket. How come daddy doesn't carry me wherever I want to go? Mommy, daddy, and the hairless one go down to the subterranean cave, which means it's my nap time.
Maybe if he had more hair he wouldn't need as many blankets.
10:45AM
I am awakened by mommy moving from another bed I have graciously shared with her (it's not as big as the one in the living room but it is comfortable). I follow her as she goes to the kitchen ... I'm sure I'll get bacon this time!
11:00AM
Mommy did not give me bacon. THIS IS AN INJUSTICE! I am saddened. She is now using the big mute plug on the little hairless dog ... which confuses me because the small one was working just fine. I shall nap again and ponder this behavior.
12:00PM
Daddy leaves the cave to hunt for food for mommy and himself. I am sure to get a bite of this deliciousness. I watch as he prepares what they call "sammiches". HE DROPPED A SMALL PIECE! MINE! NOM NOM NOM!
1:00PM
Mommy leaves the small bed in the cave to wash the weird machine she attaches to her built-in pillows. I'm beginning to believe she is trying to pull all the stuffing out of them as the large muting device is attached to it and it collects what comes out of the pillows. She'd better be careful or her pillows won't have any more stuffing.
1:45PM
Mommy readies the large muting device again. Still no bacon. I believe there is no more bacon and I shall never have it again. Mommy did take me to run in the yard again, and I am grateful to be able to run and not have a leash.
2:00PM
The little one created another treat. I had hoped they would share it with me but mommy has put it in a bag to be taken to the big bin outside. Again mommy uses the large muting device on the little hairless dog ... and just in time too! The small one was starting to fail again. Perhaps they should return it and get a new one. I will nap again in the cave.
3:30PM
I have chased the cats away from the small hairless dog while mommy uses the machine again. Maybe the machine is fluffing the pillows to make them more comfortable? I believe the cats are trying to recruit the hairless dog to their side. I will not stand for their evil ways! I shall... EEK! The one they call "Spicy" tried to scratch me. I am forced to retreat.
4:00PM
Mommy has taken the hairless dog and laid him on my blanket in the cave! I'll show the hairless dog how to lay properly on the blanket. I'm very good at sharing.
5:00PM
Daddy is using the big mute button on the hairless dog. Mommy seems to be cooking something. Time to investigate.
5:10PM
Mommy is cooking bacon! I knew they had bacon! They better share with me! I have been hard at work watching the hairless dog all day!
5:45PM
Mommy and daddy have removed me from the bed in the living room as they sit to eat the bacon. I am positive they will not share with me. The hairless dog is in another small cage in the living room. This cage has no roof - similar to the one in the little hairless dog's bedroom. Maybe there is a force field over the top to keep him in his cage?
6:00PM
I GOT BACON! Time for another nap.
7:35PM
The hairless dog is yelling and the muting device is not working. Daddy starts walking with the hairless dog in his arms ... pacing the living room. I must follow.
7:40PM
I have been told to lay on the bed in the living room. I guess I was following daddy and the hairless dog too closely.
7:45PM
Daddy prepares the large mute button while mommy removes another delicious snack from the hairless one. She applies some sort of cream to the hairless dog. I believe this is to help solve the hairless problem.
8:00PM
Mommy is using the large mute button on the hairless dog again. She told me I'm a good boy. Yes I am!
9:00PM
The hairless one is put into the open roofed cage in the other bedroom. Mommy comes with me to watch as I run in the yard again. I keep trying to teach her how to run in the yard but she fails and does it on her hind legs only. Daddy has gone to bed. Maybe I will join him. The hairless dog really exhausts me.
10:00PM
Mommy is attaching the machine to her again. I can hear the noise. I investigate to make sure she is okay. While she seems fine I am certain that this machine is of no good. I will watch it closely to ensure it doesn't come after the others in the house.
11:00PM
Mommy is done with the machine and washing parts of it at the sink. I know there is no more bacon available today so I will go sleep next to daddy again.
12:00AM
Mommy has gone to bed which means I am now on duty to watch the house. It's tough being me! I think I will watch the house from right here at mommy and daddy's feet.
1:00AM
ZZZ ... Zzz ... zzz ...
No comments:
Post a Comment