Naming The Baby - Part 2

In case you missed Part 1 of this 2 part series, you can check it out HERE.

Let's recap ... Crystal and I in an effort to decide on a name for a boy setup a March Madness style bracket of 16 names and let about 200 of our friends and family on Google+ vote on them.  Hilarity and good times were had, and in the end we came upon the name Ian James Partridge should the baby be a boy.

People so enjoyed the whole thing that we were asked by some to do a girl name bracket, even though we'd already picked a girl name (quite easily in fact ... like it took an entire 5 minutes of discussion).  We decided "why not?!" and setup another bracket of 16 names - with our chosen name thrown into the mix) to see what would happen.  We made sure to make mention that we have a name chosen already, so the winning name is just for entertainment purposes only.

Crystal didn't know it (until she read this post for the 1st time) that I had in-advance clued in our friend Obi Debo (who during this whole baby name bracket process found out that we'd like him to be the baby's Godfather) about one of the names in the list - Harley Lynn ala Harley Quinn, the Joker's girlfriend in the Batman universe - because he's got a particular soft spot for the character.  I thought he might want to have something fun in store.

Telling My Boss I Am Pregnant

While we often try to be humorous and entertaining on this blog, there are going to be occasional posts like this one where the topic is on the serious side.

I had just turned 8 weeks pregnant and had an ultrasound set for the following day.  I was at my job for almost three months on a temp-to-hire and was close to being hired on.  Because of a number of pregnancy related appointments I had coming up, I decided that it was time to inform my boss.  My thinking was that it would be better for them to know so they would understand why I would be having a number of appointments in coming weeks.  My appointments were all set for either early in the morning or during lunch time so that I wouldn't miss a lot of time at work.

By Ohio law no woman has to tell their boss until they are 15 weeks till due date - by which point you're going to be unmistakably showing.  From what I can tell, it seems most people make their pregnancy known around the end of the 1st trimester.

So, I arrived early at work on Monday and went into my boss's office, sat down, and told her that I was 8 weeks pregnant. She seemed excited for me and congratulated me on this "wonderful time in my life." A weight seemed lifted off of my shoulders as going in that morning I was fearful for the worst.  She notified the HR department, and there seemed to be no problem.

Seeing Mini-Minion for the very 1st time!  8 weeks & 2 days.

The ultrasound appointment came.  Rob and I got to see our baby for the very first time.  Everyone at work seemed excited for me.  The two women at work that I had grown close to both told me that I was doing a fantastic job and that they'd be insane to let me go and not to worry about it.

Friday arrived - work week finished.  I said goodbye to everyone at work and drove home.  About 15 minutes after walking through the door I received a phone call from the temp agency I was placed through.

The "Cool Parent"

Children are unpredictable.  Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.  As much as I would love to have this whole raising children thing planned out from beginning to end, it's an impossible pipe dream.  Kids will find a way to do something at some point completely unexpected that will throw you for a loop.  Every child is different and you have to figure it out as you go along.  With this in mind though, Rob and I have discussed our strategy for parenting because any plan is better than no plan at all.

While this may be tempting, this is definitely not a good long term parenting strategy.
Image Credit: Life At The White House Blog

In our very first discussion about the ways in which we will raise our children, we decided most important of all - we are a team.  We don't correct each other in front of the child when one of us is playing the "parent" role, we don't say yes when the other says no, and if either one of us have a problem, we will discuss it in private out earshot of any little ones.  This is especially true as children grow older and become more sneaky in their efforts to get what they want.

Naming The Baby - Part 1

As is happening at an increasing rate, the people of Google+ are meeting each other and ... um ... well ... we've started following nature's course.  Crystal and I personally know of 3 brand new babies in the last 6 weeks as well as a number of other expecting plussers besides us.  So ... how exactly do you name a "Baby Of The Plus"?  Crystal and I feel we've stumbled upon a fantastic way to do it.

Our story begins about a month ago with the two of us discussing names, as any set of expecting parents would.  In a matter of about 10 minutes we were able to come to a 100% agreement on what name we'd use if the baby is a girl (to be discussed in part 2).  In about as little time, we were able to choose a middle name for if the baby is a boy - James - after her father and my grandfather (and great grandfather and uncle).

When considering names for my children ... I totally admit to looking for references to people or characters that I like ... bonus points for geek cred.  I suggested we could name the baby Lucas.  She quickly realized that though a nod to George Lucas, it would also allow me to say to the baby lines like "Luke, I am your father" and "use the force Luke" ... and while she found it funny she wasn't 100% convinced.

In what felt like no time at all, Crystal suggests we should name the baby Rick so that he'd be "Rick James" ... seriously!  She said she'd teach the baby to go around saying "I'm Rick James, bitch!"

Hilarity ensues.

Boobamorphosis

There's no really polite way to say this ... but ... when it comes to boobs, I am blessed with my share ... and probably someone else's too.  This blessing isn't without its curse, mind you, such as back pain from carrying around melons on my chest all day.  No joke.  I weighed them at one point.  They weigh as much as a pair of melons.

I digress.

Like many women, the first thing I look forward to at the end of the day is to take my bra off.  After my 5th week of pregnancy, though, I developed what might best be described as comfort issues.  While removing my bra still feels great ... there's now a noticeable soreness when my boobs are no longer being supported by devil's contraption around my chest.  I'm hoping that I won't have to suffer through any other boob related issues until the third trimester.

My hope, unfortunately, was short lived.

A few weeks have passed and I had a job interview.  After arriving home from the interview, the first thing I wanted to do was get out of the nice clothes that I was in and get into some comfortable yoga pants and a tee-shirt.  I'm telling Rob all about the interview as I pull my favorite grey Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup Champion shirt over my head.

Uh ... Houston we have a problem. The shirt stopped short of clearing over my aforementioned blessings.

"What the hell?!" I proclaim loudly.  Rob busts out laughing at me as a look of horror spreads across my face.  "How does this even happen?  I am 10 weeks.  Are they supposed to grow this much this fast?!"

Rob is now leaning on the bed because he's laughing so hard.  In between the laughter and gasps for air he exclaims, "I don't see the problem."

"Oh shut up!" I yell as I pull the shirt back up over my head and retire it to the back of the closet, where hopefully one day I will be able to fit into it again.  I grab a looser fitting tee and start my massive grumble fest.

I research to see if my boobs are supposed to get bigger this quickly.  Sure enough splashed all over What to Expect When Expecting's website are articles that confirm that I will be dealing with bigger boobs throughout the pregnancy.

I look down at my belly, which doesn't even have a bump yet, and exclaim, "What are you doing to me? You are grounded!"

On Matters Of Cabbage ...

As a general rule, during the first few months of pregnancy, women - and even some men - find themselves researching every single thing they can about pregnancy, child birth, etc...  I'm no exception to the rule.  Here's some advice for you that you probably won't take.  I didn't take it either.  Whatever you do ... DON'T Google mucus plug.  Just don't.  You didn't listen did you?

After drowning my eyes in eye bleach from ignoring the aforementioned advice, I decided to move on to something hopefully more pleasant - breastfeeding!  I plan on breastfeeding my baby.  While I'm fairly certain that I'll be able to breastfeed, after reading the horror stories about pain during breastfeeding, I immediately start to doubt whether or not I want to partake in this beautiful and natural experience.

In anticipation of what I'll be in for, I start researching natural remedies for easing the pain of raw nipples.  After discovering a dizzying array of recommendations for various nipple creams, I stumbled upon an old wives tale to put cabbage leaves in the freezer to be placed as necessary on the nipples to help ease pain and ward off infection.

I look up at Rob and mention "We will need to get cabbage shortly before I'm due and put it in the freezer." to which he replies, "Ok, I know what you are doing."

"Oh? What am I doing?" I ask, sure that he doesn't know what I intend on using the cabbage for.  "It's for pictures."  I was right, the image that came into my brain at that point in time was just horrifying.  "NO!" I exclaim as I try to purge the image from my brain of cabbage leaves covering the ...ahem... bathing suit areas of our bodies while posing with our new born child.

Photo courtesy of the Associated Press found here.

"They would be for my nipples to ease any pain and ward off any type of infection while breastfeeding."  "Oh ok," Rob says as I look at him horrified.  "Why would we use cabbage in pictures?" I asked afraid of the answer ... and of the image that is now permanently burned into my brain.

"For a cabbage patch ... pose the baby for photos with a bunch of cabbage around it." he says with a sudden look of confusion.

Photo via DrGreen.com ... relevant article Cabbage Leaves and Engorgement.

I blush with embarrassment as I explain the atrocity that I had envisioned upon his initial suggestion about how the cabbage leaves would be used.  All I could say after the explanation while Rob rolled around on the ground laughing hilariously at me was ...

"The internet has ruined me."

The Final Frontier

Image borrowed from the documentary Trekkies by Denise Crosby.

Children: the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the starship Parenthood.  The continuing mission: to raise strange little humans, to guide their lives for the betterment of civilization, to boldly go where our own parents have gone before.

Yes ... I'm a sci-fi geek.  Yes ... we do have wives / girlfriends / significant others.  Yes ... we have children and become parents of little geeks.

Expect geek and/or nerd references to appear in my posts often.

Also, for the grammar nazis out there across the interwebs ... I have a tendency to abuse ellipses.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Crystal and I started this blog in part to catalog our adventures as parents.  While our (as of this writing) unborn child - hereafter referred to in my writings as Mini-Minion - will be her first, I feel like the seasoned veteran of the team with two sons of my own already as well as experience in the past with five step-children.

I hope to be able to use this space as a place though to not only record for posterity the events of our lives as parents, but also perhaps to entertain ... and even maybe bring attention to related issues in our society - a soap box of sorts - hopefully that will spark some meaningful discussion.  I have been known on occasion to get up on a soap box about issues.  (This is the internet ... everyone here has an opinion on something.)

AGAIN ... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Crystal asked me to take this post to give my story about the day we confirmed that we are indeed having a baby.  She already did a great job of telling the gist of the story on her first post titled "Pretty Pink Box" on Monday ... so ... I'm not going to rehash things but I will expound upon a few of the items she mentioned on her post.

Pretty Pink Box

Once upon a time about 7 weeks ago ...

I'm not surprised that my period didn't start for several reasons.  I never have a normal period unless I'm on birth control - birth control is the only thing that normalizes my periods.  This time though, I know it is for a different reason.

I read the box carefully. The pretty pink box with the pictures of positive pregnancy tests on the front is unwrapped of it’s plastic cover.  We need the test to confirm what we already know. I need the test to confirm that I'm not just another hopeful woman.  Rob needs the test so that he's not just another hopeful man.  

We haven't tried for long but we are trying.  I honestly expect at least three or four months of trying before success.  I looked at Rob a few weeks ago and said, “I was thinking, maybe we should stop preventing.” Rob looked at me, smiled big and said, “OK.” ... and off to trying we went. Here I am now three weeks later opening the pretty pink box with the pictures of positive test results.

Tuesday night before going to bed I mentally reminded myself that I need to take the test in the morning.  I slowly drifted off to sleep hoping that the test I took would look like the positive tests on the pretty pink box.  Wednesday when I awoke, I rubbed my eyes, stretched, and felt that tingling feeling of needing to use the bathroom.  I remembered what day it was.   

I leave the bed and stumble my way to the bathroom as fast as my not quite awake or functioning feet and legs can carry me.  I grab the box, open it, and pull out the packaged test.  When I open the test my first thoughts are ... 

Where is the cap?  What the hell?  You pee on this, what are you supposed to do after you pee?  How do they not have caps for this anymore?  Is the economy so hard up that a cap can’t be manufactured for pregnancy tests anymore?  Is this test defective because there is no cap?  Should I pee on both the tests?  Should I check the other test?

Giving up hope that a cap will appear, I sit down on the toilet.

I bring the test and wrapper out to the living room and sit in my chair.  I carefully set the test on the end table, sit back and take a deep breath.  I look at my cats. I look at my dog. I look at Rob.  “There is no cap,” I said.  He replies, “No cap?” I shake my head disappointingly. “No cap.”

I sit there. I'm not even dressed for the day.  My hair is disheveled. My eyes are still heavy with sleep. My mouth is dry with morning dragon breath.  This is the moment that could change my life, and I look like hell!  If I am pregnant, the baby is not going to care if I look like hell. The baby just needs a safe and warm home to grow for the next 40 weeks.

Then I started thinking about how pregnancy will change my lifestyle drastically.

I will miss the sweet taste of wine on my tongue. I will miss sushi.  I won’t miss being able to clean the cats' litter box though. With that thought all I could think was "SCORE!"

I’d have to be careful with painting - acrylics only and no smelly fumes allowed.  I wonder what foods I might crave and what foods I might have aversions to. Will I have morning sickness? Will I swell up and have to worry about salt intake? I love salt!  Then it hit me.

Coffee! I love coffee!  I don’t just love coffee but I need it to properly function in the morning.  Every morning I sit in my chair hold a cup of coffee to my face and just breath in the aroma.  People know when it is acceptable to speak to me based on how full that first cup of coffee in the morning is. If two little pink lines show up on this test I am not going to be able to speak to people for the next 40 weeks.

Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Three minutes. That’s a lot to think about in three minutes.  If this test comes back positive, I have to woman up and handle whatever pregnancy could throw at me.  If this test comes back positive, my life would drastically change.  If this test comes back positive, I might be giving up speaking to people for 40 weeks.  If the test comes back negative, I will be disappointed.

Three minutes is over.  One line and life continues the same for now.  Two lines and we're having a baby.  I take a breath and pick up the stick.  Rob looks at me.  I look down at the stick that came in the pretty pink box.