The contractions had started again. After two weeks of on again off again contractions I was getting pretty tired of them. I was already suffering from constant back and pelvis pain - as well as feet and ankle swelling when on my feet for extended periods of time. Daily life had become extremely uncomfortable and it wasn't any better at night - waking up every one to three hours (if I was lucky) to answer the call of nature just to struggle to find a comfortable position after while trying to fall back asleep.
My mood wasn't great. Each time someone asked me how I was feeling I was ready to snap. It was nice to have so many people care about my well being, but to have to answer that question a minimum of 10 times a day became simply annoying. I was pregnant - very pregnant. Any woman who has ever had a baby knows what it feels like to be a "house". Was asking me "How are you feeling?" some way for other women to get confirmation that they were not the only ones that felt horrible during their last weeks of pregnancy?
To try to keep me busy - and possibly ease some of my pain - Rob suggested walking would be a good idea. (Rob's Note: Suggestion was mostly to try to hasten the onset of labor.) Of course it was snowing. The roads were covered and the parking lots weren't even plowed. What the hell Ohio?! Get it together! Four inches of snow and you can't keep up on it?! No wonder everyone runs to the store the day before a storm. Somehow we made it to our destination - the horrible and dreaded mall.
We walked. Well Rob walked. I waddled. We browsed stores and stopped every 30 minutes so I could breathe through a contraction. We said goodbye to Radio Shack. We browsed Spencer's. I looked at dresses and shoes that I longed to wear - if only the alien xenomorph I was carrying would exit my body.
8:00 pm
Disappointed again as my contractions had stopped. I knew today would not be the day that I would get to hold my baby boy in my arms. It also meant another night of uncomfortable sleep and more back pain.
"Get out! Get out! Get out!" I told the alien in my belly. "Momma wants her body back."
I slipped into bed to watch a movie and cuddle Chance, our lovable mutt. Browsing through Netflix, I found a movie starring Anne Hathaway called "One Day". Figuring it would be a romantic comedy, I clicked play.
10:00 pm
"Curse that wretched movie! It was horrible!" I told Rob as I wiped away tears and blew my nose. He had been working in the living room - unaware of the torture I had just endured.
What I thought was a romantic comedy turned out to be a romantic drama that tore out your heart and stomped on it. I poured myself some water, took my prenatal vitamin, and kissed Rob goodnight. I slipped into bed and turned on "Doctor Who" in an effort to clear my mind of the feels the movie caused. I drifted off to sleep.
February 22nd. 2015 - 1:00 am
A pain in my pelvis jolts me awake. Half sleep, I figured it was a need to relieve pressure on my bladder. I stumbled towards the bathroom. Upon finishing my business, I noticed a thin mucus and a tiny speck of blood.
"That's odd, it must be more of my mucus plug." I thought as I stumbled back into the bedroom. Just as I got comfortable and started to drift off to sleep there was another pain radiating in my lower back and pelvis. I sat up and breathed through it.
"Contractions? Really? This late?" I started timing them. "Three consistent ones and I'll wake up Rob to go to the hospital." Five minutes apart and lasting for 30-40 seconds. It was time to go.
"Sweetie," I say as I rub Rob's arm.
"Mmmmm," Rob moans in response.
"Sweetie, it's time."
"It's time. Okay." Rob says awakening from his slumber and pushing the blankets from him. "How do you know?"
"The contractions are five minutes apart and at least 30 seconds long."
"Okay, it's time."
Rob is packing the laptop into a backpack and puts all of our bags into the car while I'm putting on sweaters.
2:00 am
We pull up to the emergency room entrance - woohoo for free valet parking! Rob grabs the bags while I waddle in. I inform the nurse that we are in labor. They wheel me off to the Labor and Delivery department. After checking in, we are taken to a triage room.
Changing from my clothes into the uncomfortable, scratchy, and revealing hospital gown was no easy task as the contractions were no longer causing pain in my pelvis and were instead focusing all of their wrath onto my lower back. It was as if someone was punching me and then squeezing my spine. I had to wait to finish putting on the gown while Rob massaged my lower back - helping ease the pain until the contraction had passed.
The doctor and nurses hook me up to machines and start monitoring the baby's heart rate and my contractions. Shortly after, a nurse came in and told me to roll to my side. Of course, I'm in the middle of a contraction and rolling proved to be difficult with the pain.
"The baby's heart rate dropped significantly and we want to get it back up." She explained as I rolled with Rob's help.
She proceeded to move the heartbeat sensor till she found his heartbeat again. Strong and back where it should be, she left the room.
The nurse returned 10 minutes later during another contraction. "It's time to check your cervix. Roll to your back. Put your feet up by your butt and knees spread wide." "You'll feel some pressure," she explained as she checked my cervix. "Only 1 cm so far."
I moaned. I was hoping with contractions being so close that I had at least dilated to 2 or 3 cm. I'd been at 1 cm since my last doctors appointment almost a week prior. I knew I was in for a long night.
The doctor came in with the portable ultrasound machine and started viewing my insides and the baby.
"When did your water break?" the doctor asked.
"My water broke? It must have been right before we left home. I went to the bathroom and noticed a very thin mucus when I wiped." I replied.
"Yes your water broke, it does look like you have a secondary membrane. We may have to break that later if it doesn't break on it's own. We are keeping you and will be moving you into a delivery room soon."
"Okay," Turning to Rob, "Go ahead and call my parents, we will let everyone else know at a decent hour."
"Do I have time to make a quick phone call before you move her?" Rob asked.
"Yes, it'll take a few minutes to get her ready to move into the delivery room." the doctor replied.
Rob kissed me, took my phone and went to the hall to inform my parents that the time had arrived. Shortly after Rob arrived back into the room the nurse came in with a wheel chair to take me to a delivery room.
Within the first hour, three different nurses arrived in my room. We discussed our wishes, signed paperwork, filled out information regarding the birth certificate, and talked about pain management.
3:00 am
"We can do an epidural now if you'd like, however the longer the epidural is in the less effective it is," the nurse explained, "If you'd like we can give you some morphine now to take the edge off."
"Morphine is fine for now," I said.
4:00 am
The morphine didn't take the edge off of any pain, but it did make me not care about the pain.
"Momma likes the morphine," I said to Rob as the room was finally empty. He laughed and started sending messages to friends who wanted to be kept informed of things.
"You should get some sleep while I'm not so worried about the pain," I told Rob.
"I don't need to sleep," he replied. I gave him a look, "If you are sure. If you need me to rub your back more or anything just wake me."
"Oh I will. Get as much sleep as you can."
7:00 am
We both drifted in and out of sleep for the next few hours until the contractions were getting to the point where I was unable to deal with the pain again. The nurse tried moving the bed - having me sit in different positions to help with pain management. It felt like a Yoga class for a while. Lotus pose, cat pose, downward dog, crane pose - so the last two didn't happen but I was prepared for the nurse to put me in those poses as well.
I breathed through contractions while Rob rubbed my back - keeping me from smacking someone, anyone. If I was in pain it would help for me to put someone else in pain too, right? Not a judge in the world would convict me.
8:00 am
The nurses came in for a shift change / introductions and then checked my cervix for any additional dilation.
"Looks like you are up to 3 cm. We can do the epidural at this point if you'd like?" the nurse said.
"Yes, please!" I said, while breathing through another contraction.
Turning to Rob the nurse explained, "I can have the anesthesiologist in here in a few minutes, it'll take about 20 minutes to give her the epidural. You will need to be out of the room, the cafe is open and you should get something to eat while you can."
"Okay, I'll call my mom and check on your parents." Rob said before kissing me and leaving the room.
The anesthesiologist, or as I prefer to call him - The Magical Epidural Guy, arrived. While setting up his equipment he explained what happens with the epidural. I had a contraction and I immediately hunched. He started the epidural and I stayed extremely still while he made comments about my tattoos. I felt a prick between vertebra.
"Does it feel like it's centered or more to the right or left?" Magical Epidural Guy asked.
"It's more to the right," I said.
"Good, okay." He moved the piece and it was more centered. "You're going to feel a coldness in a moment." Suddenly there was a flash of cold and what felt like a small shock of electricity flow down my legs to my toes.
"Oooh, that's interesting." As I explained the feeling, and soon the magic of modern medicine brought a much needed relief to the back labor I was feeling.
9:00 am
Within minutes, I was no longer feeling pain from the contractions. With the exception of my legs feeling extremely heavy, I was finally feeling better. Compared to back labor, I was just fine. Rob returned to a smiling and happy Crystal.
"You know what's awesome about the epidural?" I said to Rob when we were finally alone again.
"No more pain?" Rob asked.
"That too, but the epidural makes you feel like your wearing pants even though you're not."
Rob laughed loudly at that, I guess the morphine hadn't completely wore off.
10:00 am
"Hi honey, I stopped and had to buy our little peanut his first stuffed animal." I hear as Rob's mom came into the room, carrying a small blue stuffed dog. She gave me a hug and sat down. "I'm sorry but I got Rob and I some food as well."
"Oh I see, eat in front of the woman who can't eat right now." I said sarcastically.
"I'm sorry," Debbie said.
"Ma, it's fine, really. We have a long day ahead of us, Rob needs to eat," I said. While Rob and his mother talked I laid there drifting off to sleep.
10:30 am
I slept. The nurse flipped me to lay on my left side. I fell back asleep.
11:00 am
More sleep. The nurse flipped me to lay on my right side. I fell back asleep.
12:20 pm
I awoke to pressure.
"The epidural can't be wearing off already, can it?" I asked Rob.
"I don't think so," he said.
"Are you feeling contractions?" Debbie asked.
"No, just pressure. I'll wait a bit before calling the nurse."
"Do you feel like you have to push?" Debbie asked.
"No, I'm sure I just need to roll and I'll be okay." I said as Rob helped me roll to my back.
12:25 pm
I buzzed the nurse as the pressure wasn't getting better with the position change.
"What's going on hun?" She asked as she walked in.
"I'm feeling a lot of pressure," I said.
"Let's take a look shall we." She lifted up the sheet looked and said, "Okay it's time to start pushing."
She went to the wall to press a red button and started setting up the room. Debbie grabbed her purse and kissed my cheek wishing me good luck before leaving the room.
12:30 pm
As nurses and doctors came in and out of the room, the main nurse explained to Rob what his role would be during delivery.
Contraction came. I pushed - flexing and pushing with all of my abdominal muscles while relaxing my vaginal muscles. The hardest part of pushing was not the head or shoulders but holding my breath while pushing. It quickly made me nauseous.
12:50 pm
With every push the nurses and doctors acted like a damn cheerleading squad. I specifically told Rob early in the pregnancy that when it was time to push during labor I didn't want a cheerleader. All I needed was someone to tell me I could do it when I felt like I couldn't. Rob was that person. I looked at him in between pushes and found exactly the support I needed.
"I can't do it," I said to Rob.
"Yes you can," he replied.
1:00 pm.
Lucas James came out of my body and was placed on my chest. As the nurses started cleaning him, tears filled my eyes. A 7 lbs 4 oz baby with very pale skin and gross stuff all over him. He was beautiful. He was also not crying.
"Come on baby, cry." I said. It's the only time in your child's life that you want them to cry. You wait and every noise around you suddenly disappears as you wait breathlessly for that first noise your child makes. He let out a grunt and then started crying and I immediately breathed a sigh of relief. I had a wave of emotion roll over me, and as I heard his cry for the first time, tears rolled down my face.
"You did it sweetie, it's your baby." Rob said, tears in his eyes and he kissed me.
"Are you cutting the cord, dad?" the doctor asked Rob.
"Hell yes I am." he said. Rob held the scissors and cut the cord separating me and Lucas for the first time in 38 weeks.
"We are gonna take him just over here to clean him up a bit. The doctors are going to get the placenta out of you and get you all cleaned up, then we will start breastfeeding." The nurse explained.
"Okay," I said. "Go with him," I told Rob.
While Rob gushed over Lucas and how perfect he was, I suddenly realized I was freezing and shaking. I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't control it. My hands balled into fists as the shaking continued.
"Why am I shaking?" I asked.
"It's the hormones and adrenaline from the birth." the doctor explained.
The doctors worked quickly to get the placenta out and start the process of kneading my belly to get my uterus to start contracting. All the while, I watched the nurse clean, weigh, and measure Lucas. I watched as his skin turned pink. I watched him get swaddled and then handed to Rob to hold. Rob swayed instinctively while holding his son - gushing over him. The best moment in my life so far was seeing the man I love hold the child we made with such love and adoration in his eyes.
