The Feels!!!!

Hormones are a bitch, let me tell you! For the most part, I'm pretty good about being able to recognize when I'm having a mood swing, though Rob may have something more to say about that. I'm a fairly easy person to read, you can tell when I am happy, angry, or sad. However, lately I have not even been able to properly decode my own moods. The slightest thing will send me into fits of laughter or waterfalls of tears.

I was browsing YouTube and a video of a cat protecting a kid sent me into tears. What the hell? I am not an emotional person, I normally can tighten that up real quick, not this time. This wasn't just a couple of tears leaking from my eyes like my allergies were acting up. I was full on snot and sobbing.

As I blew the snot from my nose and wiped the final tears from my eyes, I decided I didn't need another surprise like that. I started browsing other portions of the internet. I come across a gif image of two dogs eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with human hands. I was immediately hysterical with laughter! I couldn't breathe or speak! Shaking ... rocking back and forth ... clapping my hands.

At this point Rob is sitting at his desk and looking at me extremely confused. One minute I'm sobbing crying the next I am laughing hilariously. He knew about the mood swings but to have such extremes in a short period of time ... I can imagine would be a bit confusing.

While laughter and tears are easy to deal with, they don't compare my sudden moments of anger. I didn't notice it till I got aggravated about something there was no reason ever on this Earth to get aggravated about it. There was a moment where technology failed me and I completely flipped out. The extreme anger I felt in this moment sent me into such a flying rage that I stormed out of the apartment down the stairs to the front stoop where I sat for a few moments.

Within a few minutes I realized that I had a few other major worries at that moment in my life which were the real cause of my anger. Flipping out over a website not giving me an address I searched for was no way to handle the situation. I immediately burst into tears and as neighbors drove or walked past they all got a half concerned / half "look at this crazy bitch" look on their faces.

Rob has been amazing when dealing with my rapid mood swings. The shock and surprise of going from normal to extremely weepy or angry can put quite a toll on anyone within shouting distance. I am grateful to have Rob, because when I am finally feeling like I might have a little bit of understanding about my moods I can sit down and talk to him about them.

So ... while I continue to try to keep my feelings under better control, I find that I have to take extra time in everything I do to keep them that way. Until I have these stupid hormonal mood swings under control, I just stop and look at whoever is giving me a weird look and say "hormones."