On Matters Of Cabbage ...

As a general rule, during the first few months of pregnancy, women - and even some men - find themselves researching every single thing they can about pregnancy, child birth, etc...  I'm no exception to the rule.  Here's some advice for you that you probably won't take.  I didn't take it either.  Whatever you do ... DON'T Google mucus plug.  Just don't.  You didn't listen did you?

After drowning my eyes in eye bleach from ignoring the aforementioned advice, I decided to move on to something hopefully more pleasant - breastfeeding!  I plan on breastfeeding my baby.  While I'm fairly certain that I'll be able to breastfeed, after reading the horror stories about pain during breastfeeding, I immediately start to doubt whether or not I want to partake in this beautiful and natural experience.

In anticipation of what I'll be in for, I start researching natural remedies for easing the pain of raw nipples.  After discovering a dizzying array of recommendations for various nipple creams, I stumbled upon an old wives tale to put cabbage leaves in the freezer to be placed as necessary on the nipples to help ease pain and ward off infection.

I look up at Rob and mention "We will need to get cabbage shortly before I'm due and put it in the freezer." to which he replies, "Ok, I know what you are doing."

"Oh? What am I doing?" I ask, sure that he doesn't know what I intend on using the cabbage for.  "It's for pictures."  I was right, the image that came into my brain at that point in time was just horrifying.  "NO!" I exclaim as I try to purge the image from my brain of cabbage leaves covering the ...ahem... bathing suit areas of our bodies while posing with our new born child.

Photo courtesy of the Associated Press found here.

"They would be for my nipples to ease any pain and ward off any type of infection while breastfeeding."  "Oh ok," Rob says as I look at him horrified.  "Why would we use cabbage in pictures?" I asked afraid of the answer ... and of the image that is now permanently burned into my brain.

"For a cabbage patch ... pose the baby for photos with a bunch of cabbage around it." he says with a sudden look of confusion.

Photo via DrGreen.com ... relevant article Cabbage Leaves and Engorgement.

I blush with embarrassment as I explain the atrocity that I had envisioned upon his initial suggestion about how the cabbage leaves would be used.  All I could say after the explanation while Rob rolled around on the ground laughing hilariously at me was ...

"The internet has ruined me."