The "Cool Parent"

Children are unpredictable.  Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.  As much as I would love to have this whole raising children thing planned out from beginning to end, it's an impossible pipe dream.  Kids will find a way to do something at some point completely unexpected that will throw you for a loop.  Every child is different and you have to figure it out as you go along.  With this in mind though, Rob and I have discussed our strategy for parenting because any plan is better than no plan at all.

While this may be tempting, this is definitely not a good long term parenting strategy.
Image Credit: Life At The White House Blog

In our very first discussion about the ways in which we will raise our children, we decided most important of all - we are a team.  We don't correct each other in front of the child when one of us is playing the "parent" role, we don't say yes when the other says no, and if either one of us have a problem, we will discuss it in private out earshot of any little ones.  This is especially true as children grow older and become more sneaky in their efforts to get what they want.

Time passes ...

One afternoon we start talking about how the traditional gender roles largely don't apply to us.  The current plan for our family is that I will be gone most of the day at work while Rob would be working from home and caring for the kids.  Under this arrangement I mention to Rob that the kids would likely be super excited to see me when I got home from work, seeing as I wouldn't be home during the day ... the whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" bit.  Rob counters back that they would be just excited for him too.

I explain, "Of course they will sweetie, but they won't see me as much as you so don't be surprised if it seems like they are more excited to see me."

He retorts, "Well, I'll be the COOL parent, so they'll be super excited for me!" ... trying to get a rise out of me ... and he succeeded.  Those of you who know me can imagine what my face looked like at this comment.

I lift my head and turn to look at Rob, "Excuse me? The COOL parent?"

"Well, cause I'm daddy and I'll be the one doing all the cool stuff that kids want to do that mom's may not typically allow." Rob explained.

"Oh really?  Well I'll be the parent that allows ice cream for dinner!" I reply.

"Well, I will allow them to stay up past bed time to watch Star Wars!" Rob comes back.

"Oh it's on, just wait I'll come home from work and Mini-Minion will ask if they can go over to a friends house and I'll ask, 'what did your dad say?' they'll say, 'no' all depressed.  I'll just say, 'Well because your dad said nooo, I guess you can't.' As if I would let them go had you not already said no." I explained the entire conversation facial expressions and all.

"Wait, wait, wait, what happened to us being a team?" Rob exclaimed shocked at this obvious betrayal of our aforementioned agreement.

"That went out the door when you decided to proclaim yourself as the COOL parent!" I exclaimed. "How are we a team if you are always the cool parent that takes advantage of mommy being gone all day, to let the kids do all these awesome things like build an AT-ST for a playground in the backyard, without me?"

Note from Rob: I would SO build this!  No hesitation at all ...

"But ..." Rob started.

"Nope, you made your bed bucko, sleep in it." I said as I walked away.  Of course we were both laughing about it. Needless to say we are back to our on track with our team agreement.  Neither of us will be the cool parent.